Staying Sober When Everyone Else is Drinking

Abstaining from alcohol means a life of better health, no hangovers and no embarrassing (or worse) experiences. If you’re new to sobriety, you’re probably avoiding events where other people will be drinking and that’s smart. Eventually, there’s going to be events you can’t avoid where the alcohol flows like spring water. It’s a good lesson to learn how you can stay sober when everyone around you is imbibing.

The key to sobriety is being prepared. Know your triggers and your strengths and plan accordingly. Here’s some advice to help you pass on the alcohol in a drinking environment.

Anticipate Possible Situations

If you know the place and the people, make your own plan for how you are going to handle that environment. A dinner party with a few glasses of wine is a very different atmosphere than a Christmas party with a group of guys who routinely get smashed. Your preparations for each type of environment will be completely different.

If you’re attending a party with heavy drinkers, you may want to slip out when the other guests show signs of inebriation. As a non-drinker, you’ve probably found these occasions are not always that fun when the crowd gets annoyingly drunk. Chances are pretty good they will remember that you were there and not that you left.

If it’s a dinner party, you could give the hostess a heads up that you don’t drink for health reasons (or whatever reason you are comfortable offering) so that you are simply not offered anything with alcohol. A considerate hostess will even omit a dessert with alcohol such as rum cake.

Responding to the Offered Drink

Some people are fine with telling others that they never drink. Unfortunately, this statement often leads to an intrusive conversation and questioning by a person with less-than-perfect manners. Many sober people in this situation work out an alternative answer that does not open the door to prying questions.

“No thanks, have to be up early tomorrow.”

“It’s better for my health if I don’t drink right now.”

“I have such a bad reaction to alcohol. I’ll stick with sparkling water.”

“I’m the designated driver tonight.”

If you just casually toss off this line without any assertiveness at all, you might not even be noticed. The person who makes a strong point of refusing alcohol makes himself into a target. After all, everyone else is drinking and one person staying sober makes the rest look bad. One of those drinkers might think it’s a good idea to wheedle the non-drinker into joining the “fun.” Responding calmly and in a low-key, offhand manner tends to deflect any interest.

Pick a non alcoholic drink you like, maybe something exotic. Or simply soda water with a slice of lemon or lime. Having a drink in your hand helps you to blend in with the crowd. Then just get on with the party and enjoy yourself. You may also be setting an example for others that you can socialize and have fun without drinking.

Recruit Support

A family member, spouse or partner accompanying you can be invaluable, especially if they don’t drink. Establish some ground rules before you leave. What kind of event is it? How long do you want to stay? Do you need a secret signal to indicate that it’s time to leave? With this kind of teamwork, staying sober and getting used to this new lifestyle is much easier.

If you must attend alone, or in a situation such as a family gathering where you’re the only one who doesn’t drink, line up a friend or two you can call if you need some support. That will often be enough to get through any anxiety or temptation the situation creates.

Sober Apps

There’s dozens of sober-themed apps. Ones with inspirational quotes, counters reminding you how long you’ve been sober, and more. There’s even a few that offer non-alcoholic recipes for mocktails. There are also social networks of like-minded sober people you can stay connected up with. If you’re pretty stable in your sobriety and these can give you a little backup at the right time.

When you’ve gotten through a few events or social situations sober, congratulate yourself! That’s a big step in the right direction. Continue preparing in a similar way for future situations where there will be alcohol present – it will get easier each time. And don’t forget to have fun!